We were amazed to hear that the Brazilian footballer Neymar had been transferred from Barcelona to Paris St. Germain. As many of our elite escorts come from Brazil, this was a real story of interest to us, but like the rest of the world, we were mostly gob-smacked at the price. Who ever thought that little Neymar was worth the princely sum of £192 million? That kind of figure truly boggles the mind. It wasn’t that long ago that we thought Alan Shearer going to Blackburn for £3.6 million was a silly amount, but at least back then (1992), you could sort of imagine being able to spend that kind of money somehow, if you were lucky enough to win the football pools for example. What the heck can you buy for one Neymar? Well, let’s have a look…
At £26,000 a night, the Royal Suite at the Lanesborough on Hyde Park Corner is the most expensive in London. You could spend 20 years staying here for the price of one Neymar, enjoying the seven bedrooms and 4,800 square feet of this Regency-style residence. When stars such as Tom Cruise and Jay-Z come to town, this is where they call home.
As you would expect for such a hefty price, each room screams ostentatious luxury, with 17th-century oil paintings framed with 24-carat gold leaf and views over Buckingham Palace Gardens. Your own personal butler and complimentary use of a chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce complete the package.
If such decadence sounds a bit pretentious, then how about filling your belly with a traditional English treat? You could instead spend your Neymar on 11 million portions of extra-large fish and chips at Poppie’s in Spitalfields market, which is reputably the best in town. In fact, for that price you could buy one of these fish suppers for everybody in London, as well as Birmingham and Glasgow while you were at it.
If you don’t feel like treating everyone in the capital to such a fishy feast, then how about a trip to Savile Row for the finest bespoke tailoring in the world? An average suit here costs £1565, which means that you could buy 122,863 perfectly tailored three-pieces and still have change left for a trip to nearby Fortnum & Mason for high tea. Or you could opt to spend half your Neymar on those Savile Row suits and spend the other half at the luxury car dealerships in Mayfair, where you will have enough left to buy 30 top-of-the-range Lamborghini Venenos.
On the other hand, maybe you would prefer to take the money PSG spent on one Brazilian, and spend it on your own private team of Brazilian entertainers. Did you realize that at current prices, you could enjoy 1.3 million overnights with our Latin lovelies? Now, the average human lifespan only has around 30,000 overnights, but if you book 50 of our girls at a time, you could spend the rest of your nights being surrounded by some of the hottest companions imaginable. The only question is, could your heart take it?